No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
