where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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