just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
