Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
