he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
