Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
