Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its not stalking. its research.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
