Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
