i love accidental penises.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
