Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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