You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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