the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
