what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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