Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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