just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
