You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
