I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
