Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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