he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
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I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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