Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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