he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
