He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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