I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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