Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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