i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
