As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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