there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
