So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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