We won't sleep together?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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