THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize