Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
