You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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