Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
