Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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