Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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