i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
