Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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