Will you blow on my dice?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?