lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.