I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.