put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
