Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Your cock deserves a montage
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
