just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
