I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize