You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This is not my ceiling
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
