and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
