so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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