Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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