I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
