What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We got so high we made milksteak
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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