please come you make the beer taste better
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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