this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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