I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
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The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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