nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hippo gnu deer
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
