I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
