thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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