Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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