I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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