I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
