I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize