I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
