yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
